I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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