i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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