Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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