Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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