I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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