and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
