So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have feelings that need drinking.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
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If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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