i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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