the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
