Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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