I'm lost and stupid without you.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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