i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
