You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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