He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
