i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
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hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
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I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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