I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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