How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
