Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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