It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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