haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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