That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
