from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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