well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
