the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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