If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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