Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
