i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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