Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
