You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize