this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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