He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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