A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
