Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Randomize
