the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
