When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
