I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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