You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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