boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize