Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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