my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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