yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
