No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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