Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Four minutes until I can fart!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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