ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
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I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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