Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize