She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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