I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
