That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Another day, another engagement, another cat
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
