how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
