Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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