I'm jealous of your bromance
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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