You work out of a Hotel?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
