Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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