I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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