why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are two peas in an std pod
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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