there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
